Diana Spikes The Drinks
by Draco Juniper Storm
Summary: Diana is sick of Caine's controlling nature and Drake's... well, she's just sick of Drake in general. So she decides to get revenge in the best way she can think of, with the help of Jack.


**_Diana's POV_**

Caine stormed in the Coates' common room to find Diana and Drake arguing. Again.

"...because you're Caine's faithful hound dog," Diana was saying.  
"You always gotta play that card, haven't you?"  
"Yeah." Diana smirked.  
"Yeah, well, you can shut up, because you're his bi-"

"BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Caine spat. His glare ripped apart the row they were having. Silence fell like a veil on the three of them.  
"I've had enough of your petty arguing!" Caine looked straight at them. Both pairs of eyes dropped to the floor.

Drake pushed his way violently past Caine, heading into the corridor. Diana just stared. Caine shuddered. Her scathing glare was enough to freeze anything.

"I... uh... thought you might want some help."  
"I do not need someone mothering me, deciding when I can't handle something!" Diana snapped.  
"Well, at least control yourselves. Your stupid rows drive me crazy!"

Diana pushed her way past him abruptly. She looked up to meet his eyes, scowling. He immediately dropped his gaze to the floor.

Diana turned her back to him, about to go to her room, but not before she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She saw Caine giving her the finger.

 _Right_ , she decided. _Time to get revenge._

Diana sauntered down the corridor to Jack's room. She needed his brains - hers certainly weren't going to be enough.

She knocked on his door quietly, before realising she'd never given him that sort of privacy before. She walked straight in.

"Hey, Jack, I-" she stopped, her eyes widening. Before her sat Jack, on a computer, watching a video intently.  
"Well, well," she purred, as Jack scrabbled for the laptop lid, found it, and closed it swiftly. "I never guessed you'd be watching porn, Jack. I didn't think it was your thing."

"It wasn't," Jack started, then cleared his throat. "I mean, it's not."

Diana just laughed as Jack went redder than beetroot. Then Diana sobered. "Right, Jack, I need you to help me out with something."

"Um... what?"  
"I need you to help me think of a plan."  
Jack frowned. "I'm no good at plans. Caine's the one who does the plans."

Diana snorted. "It's a plan of revenge."

"I'm even worse at that. Ask Drake."

Diana rolled her eyes theatrically. "No, you don't get it. I'm going to get revenge on Drake and Caine."

Silence for a moment. Then: "Why?"

"I'll tell you later. First-" she sat down on the bed "-let's get this plan sorted out."

2 hours. 2 flaming hours it had taken them, and they still hadn't worked out a proper plan yet. They'd had ideas - oh yes, they'd had great ideas - but no full-out plan.

"This is important, Jack." Diana couldn't stress that fact enough. "Think, Jack. I mean, really think. Use the full capacity of that brain of yours."

The truth was, he didn't want to do it, Diana knew. But, for the first time in the full 2 hours, he sat silently and thought.

"You could... spike their drinks..." Jack said, and the way he said it, it sounded like a question. Diana pondered upon this for a moment. Yes, spiking their drinks sounded very good.

"With what, though?" He frowned in confusion. "I mean, it's not like we can get into the drinks cabinet."

"Oh, Jack, if only you knew how easy it is to do all this stuff, you'd be drinking as well as watching petty little porn videos."

"Jack, burst open that lock."

They were in the teacher's lounge, and had found the drinks cabinet. The only question: how to get it open? Diana was nowhere near strong enough; it had locks on it, for some unknown reason. Perhaps the teachers liked a bit more than a small drink. Diana smirked at the thought.

So they were stuck on how to open it.

Jack looked at Diana incredulously. "Me? I'm just about as strong as you, maybe even less so."

She nodded, deep in thought. "You're right, Jack. As always, you're right."

Even Jack looked surprised at that. For Diana to say he was right... that was obviously a great feat. _It's amazing_ , she told herself, _that I can surprise him even now._  
Another smirk faintly touched her feminine lips.

The boy suddenly looked up at her. "Nail file."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I... uh... heard nail files can help break locks."

Diana took a nail file out of her pocket and handed it to him. He turned to the lock, and began sawing its smooth surface. Within minutes the glass door was open. He handed it back to her, before opening the door wider so they could both see.

"Perfect," Diana muttered under her breath. Jack glanced sideways at her quizzically, awaiting her next move. She swung down, picked up an unopened bottle of Smirnoff, and repeated, "Perfect."

Evening. That was when she'd have to do it. And here's what she was going to do:

Wait until they're both in the common room, and follow them in. Bring them both a drink - water would be ideal; it won't do much to the effects of the drink. Wait until they've both drunk their "water". Get Jack to set up a camera and get it rolling. Put the video on Facebook and watch their humiliation.

Her part would be the easy part. She'd have to be careful about how she went about this - she wouldn't be able to ask them if they wanted a drink, that was out of character - but that was all. Helping Jack hide the camera would be hard. But she'd manage it. Oh yes. Because this was important. Very important. (Well, to her, anyway.)

"Right, Jack. I want you to set up this camera-" she pointed to the camera Jack was holding, then to a spot right in the corner, in the shadows -"over there."  
Jack nodded slowly, as if listening carefully.

"Hide it so no-one can see it. Not even me." Another nod.

Right, boys. Let the games begin.

 _ **Caine's POV**_

Caine stalked into the common room with his head held high. He'd had a good day today - he and Drake had scared the crap out of the teachers and the class, with all but one exception: Diana. Caine could see Drake wanted badly to scare her. But the Fearless Leader wasn't about to let that happen; that would lead to another argument, another row, and those gave him headaches.

He lounged out in the large, leather sofa. Drake followed behind him, and Diana came in last, an unreadable expression on her face. Caine wondered what was going through her mind, but he didn't question it.

Drake sprawled out on the decaying green arm chair, with his feet up on the coffee table. Diana just took up a spot on the floor, seeing as there wasn't much room elsewhere; the boys had both taken up most of the space.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Drake broke it with, "Well, this is fun."  
Caine ignored him, and switched his attention to Diana.

"So, Diana, anything much happened to you today?"

She shrugged. "Not really. This and that. You know."  
Caine thought he saw the hint of a knowing smirk on her well-defined lips. But then it was gone, and Caine decided he'd imagined it. After all, he chided himself, what does she have to be smirking about?

Abruptly, Diana stood up, jerking Caine out of his thoughts. "I'm going to get a drink."

"Get me one while you're at it, witch," Drake ordered. To Caine's surprise, she didn't bristle.

"I'll have one too."

He saw Diana roll her eyes, then she was gone.

"I'm quite pleased about today," he said to the sadist flopped out in the chair opposite. Drake nodded. "Yeah, me too. I got to scare everyone, so I'm happy."  
"Yeah."

The door opened and Diana appeared with 3 glasses filled with something clear.  
"No, I never get tired of water," Caine remarked sarcastically. Diana just rolled her eyes in response. She set the drinks down, and Drake immediately reached for one and drank thirstily.

"Thirsty much?" Diana taunted. Drake, whilst drinking, gave her the middle finger salute. Oh no. Caine groaned inwardly. Here we go again. But, to his great surprise, she didn't retaliate as usual, spitting sarcastic remarks and throwing scathing glares. She just took up her place back on the floor, a small smile on her face.

"What?" he demanded sharply. "What's so funny?"

But then he knew. As he drank deeply from the drink she had provided, he knew.

But he couldn't talk. It was as if his brain wouldn't form the words properly.

As if he had brain damage.

"AAH!" he yelled out in fear. "I've got brain damage!"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the more rational part, he knew this wasn't the answer at all. But he was no longer listening to that part.

"Another." Caine heard the clank of glass on wood as Drake set his drink down on the tabletop. Diana obeyed.

Caine hiccupped. He turned to Drake and smiled slowly.

"I like that drink. Yes, I like it very much."

Drake nodded in agreement, an action which caused him to fall off his seat. Caine laughed at him.

"Watch it," Drake growled in a not-so-menacing voice. Then Diana came back with Drake's drink, set it down, and left the room.

She knows something, the rational part of his brain said. But he wasn't listening.

"Lalala, I'm not listening," he called out. Drake snorted.  
"I always listen to you."  
"Not you, you..." he frowned as he attempted to think of the word. "Idiot."  
Drake gasped theatrically. "Moron."  
"Old git."

The pair laughed at that. Soon they were both rolling round on the floor with laughter.

"You know, I love Diana," Caine sighed. Drake giggled.  
"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a few moments (with the exception of the occasional giggle from Drake and hiccup from Caine).

Drake suddenly wriggled about on the floor - where he fell off the seat earlier. Caine frowned, trying to wonder what he was up to, when the boy pulled a gun out of his pocket.

"Ah," Caine murmered.

Drake stared at the weapon. "It was poking me."  
"Yeah, I hate it when that happens."

Drake looked at him quizzically, before the pair fell about laughing again. When they stopped, Drake stared intently at the gun.

"Dude - what are you doing?"  
Drake sighed. "Gun; I love you."  
Caine grinned. "Always a happy ending."

Drake kissed the gun.  
"You know," he said quietly. "That was our first kiss."

Caine sat quietly, listening. "How did you meet?"  
"I found her, on the side of the road. Someone just left her there, thrown out in the rain-" he sobbed. "So I picked her up, and we've been together ever since."  
Caine sniffed. "That's so... sweet."

"We should have a party," Caine cried sharply. He stood up quickly - too fast - and ended up falling on his butt. Drake jumped up on the arm of the chair behind him.

"PARTAAYY!" He started to make 'whoop'ing noises. Caine joined in after a short while. He then proceeded to do an air guitar, and thought it was amazing.

"WHOO! I am Saine Coren the rock star!" Drake clapped enthusiastically.  
"YEEEAAAHHH!"

Drake shot a sudden sideways glance at the ping-pong table. "Hey, Caine, let's play beer pong!"  
"We haven't got any beer."

Both boys looked saddened by this statement.

"Oh well," Caine shrugged, grinning. "We can play it without the beer."

So Drake told Caine the rules in a very drunken manner, and they played the game in an even more drunken manner.

At the end of the game - of which Caine won, using his powers - he began to black out.

"Tell Diana I love her!" he cried as he sank to the floor. It came out as, "Tell Dihanah I lorve her," followed by a hiccup. Then he was down for the count.

When he awoke, Caine's first thought was, ' _who turned on the lights_?' His second, barely formed thought was: ' _OW MY HEAD!_ '

The drums. The never-ending drums, accompanied by bells.

"Have mercy!" he called out to a seemingly-empty room.

"I don't think so," a silky voice replied.

Diana.

"So, this is what happens when you mess with me," she said, and when she spoke Caine noticed Drake stirring. He gave Caine a look that said, ' _What the hell_?'  
Caine just shrugged.

Diana held up a black, smooth device. A video camera.

"No."  
She nodded, smirking. "Yes, Caine."  
"You didn't."  
"I did."

He attempted to lift his arm, to throw her against a wall, but even a mere movement such as that was near impossible.

So, as a summary of the next few days, Diana uploaded the video onto Facebook - thus heavily humiliating both Drake and Caine - and she also showed it in assembly, sending the whole school into fits of laughter. Caine and Drake became the laughing stock, and they both attempted to seriously injure - or in Drake's case, kill - her.  
The end.


End file.
